thelyricsearch.com LYRIC

THE 12 PAINS OF CHRISTMAS
Bob Rivers


The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree

The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Five months of bills
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Facing my inlaws
Five months of bills
"I hate those Christmas cards!"
Hangovers
Rigging up these lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Salvation Army
Facing my inlaws
Five months of bills
Sending Christmas cards
"Aw geez"
"I'm trying to rig up these lights!"
And finding a Christmas tree

The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
"I want ant farmer for Christmas"
"Charities, and what do you mean your inlaws?"
Five months of bills
"Ah, mailing out these cards!"
"Edith, get me a beer, huh!"
"What, we have no extension chord?!?"
And finding a Christmas tree

The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Finding parking spaces
"Daddy, I want some candy!"
"Donations!"
Facing my inlaws
Five months of bills
"Writing up those Christmas cards"
Hangovers
"Now why the hell aren't they blinking?"
And finding a Christmas tree

The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Batteries not included
No parking spaces
"Buy me something!"
"Get a job ya bum!"
Facing the inlaws
Five months of bills
"Yo ho, sending Christmas cards"
"Ah geez, look at this!"
"One light goes out, they all go out!"
And finding a Christmas tree

The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Stale TV specials
Batteries not included
No parking spaces
"I gotta go to the bathroom"
Charities
"She's a witch, I hate her!"
Five months of bills
"Oh, I don't even know half these people!"
"Who's got the toilet paper?"
"Get a flashlight, I blew a fuse!"
And finding a Christmas tree

The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Singing Christmas Carols
Stale TV specials
Batteries not included
No parking
"Waaah!"
Charities
Gotta make 'em dinner
Five months of bills
"I'm not sending them, Mister, that's it!"
"Shut up, you!"
"Fine, you're so smart, you rig up the lights!"
And finding a Christmas tree


BOB RIVERS

Bob Rivers is probably the best-known rock and roll radio DJ in the greater Seattle area of the northwestern United States, as well as a prolific producer of parody songs that often are mistakenly attributed to "Weird Al" Yankovic

Bob Rivers is a well known American rock and roll radio on air personality in the Pacific Northwest as well as a prolific producer of parody songs, most famous for his Christmas song parodies.

Rivers' radio program, The Bob Rivers Show, is broadcast on Seattle rock station KZOK-FM. ... Read More