Dane Cook

I was over at your a... I went to one of these malls.
You got a big mall going on over there.
The galleria there. Holy Shit!
I went over to the mall.
I, I had to park nearby in a parking structure.
You know when you park... in the parking structure...
you you you know you go up like, there's like 40 stories,
and you always have to park up on the fucking roof.
What do they pave that with? What is that? That's not concrete.
Whatever that's paved - you could be like driving 5 miles an hour.
It sounds like you're in a chase scene from Chips!
It's like,


I'm backing up!


What the fuck is that? You got sneakers on.
You're trying to walk in,


Where's the door?!


Keep it going for that joke.


Keep it going. That's only the first of many.

In fact, let me do that one again just so we all feel like we're a part of it.

You ever go to the mall there, The Galleria? There's a parking structure.
What is that paved with? It's not cement.

*Dane Chuckling*


Dane Jeffrey Cook (born March 18, 1972 in Cambridge, Massachusetts) is an American stand-up comedian and screen actor. Cook grew up in Arlington, Massachusetts and attended Arlington High School. He was raised Roman Catholic.

His comic material is mostly observational humor. His recent routines include such diverse topics as car accident mayhem, Cook's time spent working at Burger King and assorted geek humor. Cook often refers to specific places or things using his own slang terms. ... Read More