Dane Cook

We never had a pool, right. So one summer, I remember.
My dad, to make me happy. You know I was bummed out cause
we didn't have the pool. So one summer he bought us this thing.
It was yellow, you layed it on the lawn, sprayed it with the water,
run across. Slip n' Slide. Yeah. Would of been fun if dad checked for
rocks before he layed it down! Slip n' Bleed from the aaaaanus they
shoulda called this ride. I was like watch this Ma!
*slide* *scream* NOOO! *scream*
Yeah... Luckily I was wearing that pad.
I like that one. You don't have to. This is for me. I was a weird kid man.
I had some troubles. I had some problems man. I had some PROB-LEMS.


Dane Jeffrey Cook (born March 18, 1972 in Cambridge, Massachusetts) is an American stand-up comedian and screen actor. Cook grew up in Arlington, Massachusetts and attended Arlington High School. He was raised Roman Catholic.

His comic material is mostly observational humor. His recent routines include such diverse topics as car accident mayhem, Cook's time spent working at Burger King and assorted geek humor. Cook often refers to specific places or things using his own slang terms. ... Read More