Dane Cook

I couldn't spell when I was a little kid, I couldn't spell.
So my parents were all concerned so they went down to the uh toy store.
They bought me a little red box called Speak... n' spell.
You remember that? Speak n' spell?
They shouldn't have called it speak and spell.
What they should've called it was Speak... Like the Devil!
Remember the voice A-E-I-O-U. What was that? A-B-C-D-
*punch, scream* That thing was evil. L-M-N-.
That thing would wake me in the middle of the night like 2 in the morning...
Play with me! Get up, I wanna spell right now! I'm 8 years old.
I spell great. I talk like a freak.
I'm like...Mom, something is wrong! Something is W-R-O-N-G, wrong.


Dane Jeffrey Cook (born March 18, 1972 in Cambridge, Massachusetts) is an American stand-up comedian and screen actor. Cook grew up in Arlington, Massachusetts and attended Arlington High School. He was raised Roman Catholic.

His comic material is mostly observational humor. His recent routines include such diverse topics as car accident mayhem, Cook's time spent working at Burger King and assorted geek humor. Cook often refers to specific places or things using his own slang terms. ... Read More