Dane Cook

Did you see that clip they were like showing the other day on uh ESPN
or whatever. They were showing like the best crazy accidents or something.
It was like the best of the worst car you know like.
They showed this one clip man . If you saw this this was nuts.
The two cars go around the corner and they like catch each other
they start to roll. The tire flys into the stands, hit's a woman in the face!
And when you first saw it you were like OOOOOO!
That tire just hit that woman in the in the face!
Oh good they're showin' it again Look Look Look Look at this right here.
Slow it down..yeah that's when it hits her in the face.
And the funny thing is everybody around the lady like dove out of there.
Everyone got out of there but she just like sits there like.
You see everyone dives and at the last minute as the tire is rocketing at her
face. This is her defense. She goes OOOOO!
Like she's just gonna get in a slap fight with a Goodyear.
Like she's just gonna go PAH and deflect it.
Or maybe she just palmed it PAH.
There can only be one Highlander! Tires cannot defeat me!
What a horrible way to go...What happened to Mary?
A tire... hit her in the face. How do you say that without laughing.
A tire- I can't even do it now! How did Mary die? A TIRE hit her in the FACE!
What was she doing putting her face near tires?
No no no no this tire hunted Mary down. This tire murdered Mary.
This tire wasn't fucking around as we like to say.
This tire was out for vengeance.
I don't wanna die with a tire hitting me in the goddamn face


Dane Jeffrey Cook (born March 18, 1972 in Cambridge, Massachusetts) is an American stand-up comedian and screen actor. Cook grew up in Arlington, Massachusetts and attended Arlington High School. He was raised Roman Catholic.

His comic material is mostly observational humor. His recent routines include such diverse topics as car accident mayhem, Cook's time spent working at Burger King and assorted geek humor. Cook often refers to specific places or things using his own slang terms. ... Read More