Lil Dicky

Let's go
It's your boy LD
AKA watch your girl pussy homie
Ya'll miss me, don't you
My dickheads im sorry for keeping you waiting just know that i miss you
Been leaving you all to dry in the dark like a cum loaded tissue
I woke up this morning like fuck it, i got to adress all the fans
I need y'all to know I got plans
I need y'all to know I been slaving away on my debut
I'm taking a page out the playbook of Jay, Big and Dre, Nas and Ye
If you studying rap like I study it then
You would know what the fuck I been tryin' to say
It's harder to wait (it is)
But it's gotta be great (it do)
And then when I drop that shit all y'all gonna be like "Lil Dicky we made it!" (we made it)
To everyone listening I think that it's cool that we know what they don't (they don't)
It's not about if, only when and it's fun to be in on the joke
Just did my first shows, nervous as shit, never been on the road
Started in Philly I signed my first titty, I killed dat shit
Still I ain't fucking no hoes (like no pussy, it's sad)
A part of the reason is none of the venues equipped with a shower (it's so inconvenient)
So I leave for an hour and when I come back ain't no bitches around (them bitches be leaving)
I fuck with this sound
Rapping like Migos is fun for a clown
I could say anything and at the end of my statement
This cadence will make it profound
Like for example, ya man is about to go ham in the kitchen
I'm fixin a sandwich (woo)
All it is is some turkey and mayo but tell me that shit ain't dramatic! (on ciabatta)
It's stupid emphatic
Stomach is fucked I been poopin' erratic (damn)
New Santa Monica dude I just moved in in March
And I'm bout to get into some Madness
Don't confuse what my plan is
I never go out (it's depressing)
I meant that my bracket about get sandy
The beach on my house (ehh, more like three blocks away)
I'm newly an Uncle (Uncle Dicky)
My bro had baby (he did, she cute)
I'll be on by the time she can talk
Her first words'll be "Dicky we made it!" (that's a BABY)
Can't wait to be famous (oh)
That shit gon' be wild (I bet I'll meet Drake)
I'm lookin' at Jason Sudeikis like who my Olivia Wilde (I need an actress)
I love Anna Kendrick (legitimate feelings)
She never tweet back (not once, ever)
I figure she's busy or think that I'm creepy
But baby I'm not! (unless you like that shit)
I just have this vision where both of us living like Bonnie and Clyde
That's you as a singer and me as a rapper
We could be like Jay and Beyonce for whites (that could be so cool)
That would be the life
I'd buy the Sixers and make you my wife
Nah I'm just kiddin', I've only been smitten
With totally fictional characters right? (obviously we'd have to get to know each other)
You could be a grouch (that would suck)
You could be so mean (I hope not)
You could be the type that need warning with oral to avoid the cream (some bitches hate the taste of semen)
That's graphic as fuck (I suck my own dick)
But some bitches is bougie (I've kissed other men)
Forgive me, I just wanna make this pitch perfect I love all your movies (these ad-libs are fun)
I need me some pussy (I'd buy it)
I'm scared of the AIDS (the virus)
I wish I was reckless
There's rappers that's been getting head up on stage (Danny Brown)
I'm way too afraid (my dick is a pussy)
My dick been enraged
But soon when I'm fuckin in public post nut, he'll look up atcha boy and say "Dicky we made it!" (get 'em D)
I'm just fuckin wit the flow
You know I still be on that ya ain't really fuckin wit da boy
I got 150 different ways to cut dat
Love rap
Soon they'll be fuckin wit the dork like a humpback
Yeah I'm bout to bring the fun back
Every other rapper need to go and get a dunce cap
Now I got a one track
Mind till I run rap
Mine till I'm done
Wack rhymes better run rap (run ho)
Mafucka shit is done wrapped (over)
You ain't wanna see me come back (nah)
Y'all hot for a summer in July in Arizona
Lil Dicky literally is where the sun at
Knowing y'all, gotta show you where the sun at (hot)
All of y'all been bad where my son at? (hot)
Where my son at? (hot)
Where my son at? (hot)
Where my son at? (hot)
Come get spanked, ho!
My New Year's resolution is to call these rappers hoes
And mean that
I mean that shit
Y'all some hoes (y'all some hoes)
Y'all some hoes (y'all some hoes)
Adios (that's Spanish)


Lil Dicky, David Burd, is the voice of the voiceless. In an era where rap is dominated by racial, social, and economic minorities, LD decided to put the upper-middle class on his frail, Jewish shoulders.

The results have been monumental. His debut mixtape, So Hard, has been categorized as “funny,” and “impressive” by his friends.

On 31st July 2015, Mr. Leftward-Sloping Penis released PROFESSIONAL RAPPER, featuring Snoop Dogg, Fetty Wap, Rich Homie Quan, T-Pain, Jace of Two-9 & brain. ... Read More