thelyricsearch.com LYRIC

BOWLING SONG (ALMIGHTY MALACHI, PROFESSIONAL BOWLING GOD)
Stephen Lynch


You watch me on your TV.
Say that my job is easy.
Say I am not athletic.
You think my sport's pathetic.

But you can't judge me 'till you walked a mile in my bowling shoes.

So I don't get all the ladies.
And my clothes are from the 80's
I am known throughout the valleys.
As the prophet of alleys.

And as I roll the ball I cry, "Let me bowl or let me die!"
I'm almighty Malakai, the bowling god.
The smell of rosin gets my high.
Kiss those f---in' pins goodbye!
I'm almighty Malakai, the bowling... the bowling... god.

Got a ball that's smooth and all black.
I keep it in my lucky ball-sac.
I get a feeling in my soul.
As I finger every hole.

And as I roll the ball I cry, "Let me bowl or let me die!"
I'm almighty Malakai, the bowling god.
The smell of rosin gets my high.
Kiss those f---in' pins goodbye!
I'm almighty Malakai, the bowling... the bowling...

Not a single men will try, to beat almighty Malakai.
All that challenge me are slain.
Come on, f---ers pick a lane.
Marshall Home and Gary Dickens, get in line for your ass kickins'.
John Patracky and Norton Duke, your so lame it makes me puke.
Who amongst the pro-bowl sector.
Dares to don his wrist protector.
Not that pussy Nelson Burton, tells me that his wrist is hurtin'.
Hey Mark Walfey, Earl the Pearl, are ya' scared to give the ball a hurl?
How bout' Dickey Webber and his son Pete? I'll turn the motha fuckas to cream of wheat!

And as I roll the ball I cry, "Let me bowl or let me die!"
I'm almighty Malakai, the bowling god.
The smell of rosin gets my high.
Kiss those f---in' pins goodbye!
I'm almighty Malakai, the bowling... bowlin... ohhhhh!
The bowling god!!


STEPHEN LYNCH

Stephen Lynch is an American singer and comedian, famous for his raunchy comic lyrics. He was born July 28, 1971 in Abington, Pennsylvania, but grew up in Saginaw, Michigan and attended Western Michigan University, where he learned to play guitar. He is a Tony nominee for his role as Robbie Hart in the Broadway musical, The Wedding Singer. Stephen married Erin Dwight in September of 2003.

Lynch has produced eight albums:
Live At XM Studios (Live concert available only on the XM Comedy channel, no CD release planned) ... Read More