Stephen Lynch

Here we are, dear old friend

You and I, drunk again

Laughs have been had

Tears have been shed

Maybe the whisky's gone to my head

But if I were gay, I would give you my heart

And if I were gay, you'd be my work of art

And if I were gay, we would swim in romance

But I'm not gay, so get your hand out of my pants

It's not that i don't care, I do

I just dont see myself in you

Another time, another scene

I'd be right behind you if you know what I mean

'Cause if I were gay, I would give soul

And if I were gay, I would give you my whole... being

And if I were gay, we would tear down the walls

But I'm not gay, so won't you stop cupping my ba... hand

We've never hugged, we've never kissed

I've never been intimate with your fist

You have opened brand new doors

Get over here and drop... your... drawers


Stephen Lynch is an American singer and comedian, famous for his raunchy comic lyrics. He was born July 28, 1971 in Abington, Pennsylvania, but grew up in Saginaw, Michigan and attended Western Michigan University, where he learned to play guitar. He is a Tony nominee for his role as Robbie Hart in the Broadway musical, The Wedding Singer. Stephen married Erin Dwight in September of 2003.

Lynch has produced eight albums:
Live At XM Studios (Live concert available only on the XM Comedy channel, no CD release planned) ... Read More